


Unopened Windows

by PsychedelicShips



Series: My Sanders Sides one shots [5]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Patton and Logan were married, Roman cries in the bathroom, Romantic Prinxiety - Freeform, So much angst, Songfic, everyone is sad, familial Logan/Patton/Remus/Roman/Remy, unopened windows by set it off
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:13:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25531894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychedelicShips/pseuds/PsychedelicShips
Summary: Roman, Remus, Remy, and Logan think about what they would do with more time with their dad (or husband).
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: My Sanders Sides one shots [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1846756
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Unopened Windows

_My favorite movies are tales never filmed That I dream of living out A private screening that plays in the field._  
  
Roman remembered the first Disney movie his father took him to. Princess and the Frog. They had watched it the day it came out, when Roman was five years old. From that day on, it had been his favorite movie. Now Roman knew he would never be able to sing Almost There with his dad ever again. No more Disney duets, no more dancing with his dad while Beauty And The Beast played one the background, no more dressing up as their favorite characters to the newest movie. There wouldn’t be any if that now.

_But I'm trapped inside this house_

_Walk through the halls, trace the walls Back to where we made our memories See what will never be_

Roman wished he could speak to his dad again. Even just one more time. Tell his dad how much Roman loved him, tell him how much Roman missed him already. It had only been a few days. There hadn’t even been a funeral service yet.  
  
_Through unopened windows, bound to my heart_

_Fantasy so close feels so afar_

_But I long to break the lock and live among the life we lost_

_Through unopened windows, they tear me apart_

Roman wished his dad would watch the school play just one more time. He wished his dad would stand in the audience and clap for him just one more time. He wished he would be handed a bouquet of flowers just one more time. He wished he would sit next to his dad on the bleachers and clap for Remus in the marching band during halftime of the football game just one more time. He wished dad would stand up from the couch and clap for his older brother, Remy, as he read out his latest story chapter. He wished he could have introduced his boyfriend, Virgil, to his dad. Dad would have loved him, Roman thought, the tears threatening to come once more.

  
_I'm sick of hearing that time always heals Try to tell that to my scars_

_Sure it stopped the bleeding, and it's harder to feel_

_But it really left a mark._  
  
Remus remembered that day in the hospital that seemed like a thousand years ago but was only two days ago, when the doctor came out with a grim frown.

“I’m so sorry, but there was nothing more we could do for him.” Father had followed the doctor out of dad’s room and broken down then, sobbing in the empty hospital waiting room.  
Roman had silently cried, the tears seeming like endless rivers down his cheeks.  
Remus shouted, his denial echoing through the waiting room and to the hallways of patients behind doors.  
Remy just silently walked to the coffee machine for what must have been his one hundredth cup, trying to seem as if nothing happened, but Roman noticed his hand shaking as he slid the Kcup into the machine and the tears staring his cheeks from behind his sunglasses. Remus had terrible thoughts running through his head for the next- his long had it been? His thoughts were about death, about Dad- Remus had heard that sometimes people came back as ghosts if they had unfinished business and haunted the places they were close to or died, so Remus stayed up all night for days on end, hoping he would see Dad, but knowing he wouldn’t.

_I walk through the halls, trace the walls Back to where we made our memories See what will never be_

Remy walked downstairs one night to make a cup of sleepytime tea when he heard sobbing coming from his parents’- no, it was just Father’s room now. Remy peaked through the cracked open door and saw Father holding a picture frame and crying. Remy knew what picture it was- their wedding day photo. They both looked incredibly handsome- Father stood tall over Dad, both smiling broadly, hand in hand. Father wore a dark blue tie and black suit while Dad wore a light blue tie and a gray one. Father held it tight to his chest, the tears streaming down his cheeks and landing on the class covering the photograph.  
“I’m so sorry, Patton,” Remy heard his father whisper through his sobs.  
“F-father?” Remy had started to cry a little bit, too.  
“Hey, Sleepy.” His father turned around and tried to wipe his tears, using the nickname Dad had used for Remy. Remy climbed onto the bed and hugged his father, Remy’s cup of tea forgotten.  
“I just miss him so much-“ Father started to cry again.

“I miss him, too,” Remy whispered.

_Through unopened windows, bound to my heart_

_Fantasy so close feels so afar_

_But I long to break the lock and live among the life we lost_

_Through unopened windows, they tear me apart_

  
Logan stood next to Patton’s hospital bed, gripping Patton’s hand, terrified to let him go, their wedding rings touching. “I love you, Lo. Remember that, okay? Here- don't mourn for me-“ Patton coughed.  
“Celebrate the time we had together, don't wish for what we didn't have.”  
“I know- I just wish there was more time,” Logan cried as Patton’s heat monitor frantically beeped, the green line falling into a straight line.  
“No- no! Patton…” Logan sobbed, hugging Patton close.

“I’m so sorry, sir,” the doctor tried to comfort Logan.  
“I’m sorry, Mr. Harte, but there was nothing left we could do for your husband. I’m so sorry.” Everything after that had been a blur, an uninterrupted stream of gray that had once been bright with Patton’s smiles.  
There wouldn’t be any of those anymore.  
  
_All the stories left unwritten that we drew up in the past_  
_It's the game we never went to or the drinks we never had_

_As I look up to the stars and make a wish to bring you back_

Remus had never believed in the tales of magic and elves and whatnot that Roman was always so fond of, but Remus found himself sitting on the roof late one night, looking up at the stars and believing for a moment that if he wished- really wished, really believed it would work-the stars could bring Dad back.  
The next day at school Remus got into a fight with a senior who told him to just get over it. Remus had wanted Dad to walk into the principal’s office, tell him he should apologize to the senior but take Remus out to lunch afterwards, not Father walking in, stern-faced and red-eyed. There would be no lunch, only spending the rest of the day in his room putting band-aids on his bloody knuckles and ‘working’ on his missed schoolwork.

_But I curse the roof above me, and I learn to live behind all these_

_Unopened windows, bound to my heart Fantasy so close feels so afar_

_But I long to break the lock and live among the life we lost_

It’s lunch period when Roman breaks down and rushes to the bathroom to cry in privacy, the tears washing away the makeup he had applied under his eyes to hide the dark bags from countless sleepless nights. Virgil knocks on the stall a few seconds later, his purple laced shoes and black skinny jeans visible beneath the stall door.  
“Ro? Are you okay?” Virgil asked, worried. Roman wanted to scream. No, he wasn’t okay! His dad had just died, and people expected him to be okay?

“Roman, open the door, or else I am going to climb over this goddam stall.” Roman just sat on the toilet, realizing how pitiful he must look, sitting on the toilet of a public school bathroom as his boyfriend talked to him through the locked stall door.  
Virgil’s shoes disappeared from beneath the stall. Virgil reappeared a moment later, looking at him from over the top of the stall.  
“Roman, I am standing on the fucking toilet paper dispenser to talk to you, so you better tell me if there’s anything I can do.”  
“I-I’m sorry,” Roman sniffled. “I just want him back.”  
“Roman, don’t be sorry,” Virgil said as he started to climb over the dividing wall of the stalls, his ripped jeans tearing a little bit more at the knee.  
“The only reason you should be sorry is if you don’t catch me.” He dropped into Roman’s stall of sadness, as Roman had quickly named it, and hugged Roman. They stayed there for the rest of lunch, Roman crying on the shorter boy’s shoulder, and Virgil started to play quiet music.  
_Through unopened windows, they tear me apart_

_They tear me apart_

_They tear me apart_

_See what will never be_

_Through unopened windows, they tear me apart_

Logan just wanted more time. If it was possible, Logan knew he would give all the ‘tomorrows’ he had left for just one more day with Patton. Just one more day with his husband, one more day full of smiles and the jokes Patton told that Logan said were terrible but he secretly loved.  
Just one more batch of chocolate chip cookies, just one more time when Patton saw a dog on the street and had to pet it, Logan smiling as Patton gushed over how cute the dog was. If only there was more time.


End file.
